Going Home

This is a blog I was sure I wouldn’t be writing.  There have been multiple different factors that have played a role in this decision and I’ll share a few here. But before I share what has led me to my decision, let me catch you up with some other details. Some of you know, (or might not!) that my fiancé Britton launched with O squad the same time I launched with N squad in January. But let’s rewind that even more. Last year at the this time I was recently accepted to the world race. I was about to graduate college, didn’t have any photography commitments, and this was the season that Britton and I spent apart. The Lord taught me SO much in the process of preparing for the race through counsel, fundraising, leaders, and seeing the body come together. I’ve seen God work through prayer in so many ways this past year and answer so many of them. I’ve begun to learn what it means to test everything to Scripture and live in community. God has been extremely faithful throughout this entire process.

So now a little bit more of context for you. Britton and I got back together in July last year, after I had applied and been accepted to the world race for about 7 months. We thought about many options and what the future would look like for us which led him to applying for the world race as well. Britton was also accepted, but to a different route. We had to go separately because we weren’t married and it’s in the policies that you would have to be married for 2 years in order to go together (we totally get that). So this began a new season for us, praying really intentionally, fundraising together, sharing with family and friends about our faith and the mission of the World Race. It was truly so special to be able to do this alongside the man I would spend the rest of my life with. Which brings me to the next thing — WE GOT ENGAGED!!!!!! In September we got engaged and began to now look at our lives together as a future husband and wife. I remember at training camp in October really wrestling with my heart not being completely in it. I remember feeling so bad and so guilty for not feeling like it was the best thing ever. It started to set in, I would spend a year apart from my fiancé, across the world from him. 

We got home from training camp and continued to fundraise, share with friends and family, and other things preparing for marriage. As the day got closer to launching, my heart kept growing closer to Britton and our future, and the time we had together. Then came launch. The day that was so anticipated yet (kinda) dreaded if I’m being completely honest with you, came. I couldn’t have hugged Britton longer if I tried as we said our goodbye for 11 months. 

After a few weeks of being on the field, Britton started having some health concerns that ended up bringing him back to the states to seek answers and run tests. With not knowing what has been causing his symptoms and the long wait to see a specialist, Britton has made the decision to not return to the field. This is not what either of us expected, imagined, or planned for. Feeling like we let down supporters, disappointed our friends, family, and ourselves. As he went back to the states, I really began to wrestle. I started seeking counsel, praying, reading Scripture, and processing almost as often as I spent the day awake. I realized I was no longer looking to the future as “my life” but my life with Britton, as a husband and wife. I have dreaded this conversation with so many people because of fear. Fear I let them down, fear I disappointed them, fear that I failed. But what’s best for Britton and I is if I return home as well. So that’s what I have decided after weeks and weeks of praying and seeking counsel. 

I know the Lord works in all things. I know He goes before me in every situation. I know He works everything out for our good and His glory. I know He is sovereign. These are Truths I need to hold onto during this time. 

What does that mean for you? Well first off I just want to say from the deepest part of my heart, I am so grateful for you. For the way you have supported me, prayed for me, finically contributed, and everything in between. I pray the Lord uses this to glorify His goodness and faithfulness in all that we do. I can’t tell you how much time I have spent thinking about the role all of you played in order for me to get to this point. There have been some other things going on behind the scenes that have also contributed to this decision, and I would be happy to talk to you about them in person. 

I also want to talk about the financial support. Your donations allowed me to serve in Urraco Pueblo, a very sweet community filled with servant hearted people and kids that will hold a place in my heart forever. They allowed me to share meals with ladies in the community and hear about their lives and how God has shown up. I was faced with the challenge of figuring out what I believe and why, what Scripture actually says about things. I developed such fruitful relationships with my teammates who will be lifelong friends. I saw God move and answer so many prayers during my time here. I saw God work in the hearts of the kids that came to our VBS and youth group each week. Your generous donations went to supporting a mission – to bring the saving knowledge of Jesus to the ends of the Earth. These were not wasted. They are being used to advance the Kingdom. Britton and I have the opportunity to use some of our funds to serve together on a short term mission trip in the future. The remaining funds are still used to go towards missions, to support missionaries and ministries around the world. They are being used to spread the Gospel. Your donations are a testament to God’s faithfulness. 

Thank you for being part of what God is doing around the world in His global church. Thank you for the way you have supported me in this <3

With love, 

Lindsay